dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
that is very illegal...i love you.
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