At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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