That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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