You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
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. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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