that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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