I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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