The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
