Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
