WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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