kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
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Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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