He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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