Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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