Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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