i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
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I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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