I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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