i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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