Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize