I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
