I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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