The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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