ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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