By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
