She's JV to your varsity
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
