So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Boobs speak an international language.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
