Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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