Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
