Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
