it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize