yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
