U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
