Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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