I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
