We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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