The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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