p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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