i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.