her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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