Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry