HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis