she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.