so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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