where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
there is glitter all over my balls
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