And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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