You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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