awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
