You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Found your dick twin last night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
