Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You are a genius and a whore.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
