haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
