you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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