turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
