what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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