How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
