I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize