so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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