i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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