Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
