Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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