I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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