At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
two words...techno handjob
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
NoShamevember. You game?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
