grandma shit on top of the toilet
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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