He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
