Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
