But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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